Tom has been chopping down tress with the hand saw recently and Bear has been watching carefully. We gave him a small pruning saw at first to work with because he was so engaged and desperate to join in. My mother-in-law was a bit concerned about us giving the almost-2-year-old a saw to use. It is certainly not a toy. It should not be played with. But an almost-2-year-old can do real work if he has real tools. I am not reckless. He can't actually hurt himself with the saw. The teeth aren't sharp enough to cut him by accident. He could hurt someone else with it and he could damage our furniture with it so he is only allowed to have it when we are able to supervise him. An advantage of the pruning saw is that it locks closed so he needs to bring it to us if he wants to use it. But best of all he can really saw wood with it. I enforce the correct use of the saw by explaining the rules and redirecting him. It is only for sawing. He mustn't knock the windows with it. He mustn't swing it around. He mustn't hit the dog with it! He isn't allowed to saw living trees. He has been happy to accept these rules if he's pointed toward something he is allowed to work on. While I was at work and Tom was at home Bear set himself to work on this branch with Dad's big saw. He started from scratch. First he made a groove then he worked at it steadily throughout the day. He came back to it several times. Steady rhythmical strokes. Finally he cut all the way through! A piece of the branch fell to the ground! I couldn't believe my eyes. He looked at it thoughtfully there on the grass. Then he took his big saw to another little branch and started sawing again.
Bear's been working on some classic Montessori activities lately... Pegs and Tongs! This boy's been my little laundry companion since he was a little baby and he's been interested in pegs from the beginning. Now he's finally mastered them! After countless demonstrations of how to squeeze them open he has worked out his own technique: he squeezes the peg open using his whole hand and twists his wrist awkwardly to clip the peg onto the clothes horse. Success! And what pride and satisfaction has accompanied this achievement! Now we work side by side - I process mountains of washing, he masters his own hands. Another activity Bear is working on by himself is the tongs. He learned to operate the tongs picking up cotton wool. The cotton wool balls are so light and fluffy that the clumsiest, weakest grip is enough to move them successfully. A piece of masking tape over the ring at the end stops it from slipping down and locking the tongs closed - an easily preventable source of frustration for the little worker. It was frustrating at first but those little yellow tongs kept calling to him - he went back to them again and again until he could fill up that cup in a few minutes just to tip them all out and start again. Once he had perfected his grip on the tongs he invented his own extension activity. He used the tongs to move his knitted fruit piece by piece from their bowl on the shelf to the rug. Back and forth just for the fun of it. Packing away each piece of fruit carefully before moving on to another activity.
An Art Area I've rearranged Bear's furniture in the playroom to include a more inspiring art area. I put out different art supplies each week for him to explore freely. This week connector pens and a white board - both have been very popular. Just a side note about his table and chairs: this beautiful set was handmade on request by a man in Molong (a little town about an hour on the Sydney side of Dubbo). You can track him down through the Molong Yarn Market along with all sorts of other handmade treasures. They were given to Bear for his 1st birthday by his grandparents. The chairs are still a little high for him but they are very heavy so almost impossible for him to tip over when climbing on and off. We love them! Picture Frame An art area would be incomplete without somewhere special to display his creations. A Desk Lamp A recent source of frustration for me was Bear constantly asking me to turn the lights on and off. He can't reach the switches but they fascinate him. That gave me an idea! I moved the desk lamp to his table where he can get to it whenever he likes. The switch is easy for him to operate. He can turn it on and off to his heart's content without plunging the room into darkness and driving the rest of us crazy. A Tissue Box and Rubbish Bin
To remedy Bear's frequently runny nose I put a tissue box where Bear can reach it. He helps himself to tissues and attempts to wipe his own nose. He also enthusiastically looks out for other rubbish he can put in his bin. He went through the first box of tissues very quickly. New tissue. Wipe nose. Scrunch. Toss. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It took a lot of restraint and positive self talk ("They're only tissues", "They cost 75c a box", "They're compostable", "It's good practice for him") to stop me snatching the box from him and putting it out of his reach. Thankfully his enthusiasm has since settled down. Now he gets a tissue for himself when needs one and just a few other times per day for fun! Tom was away with work all last week. He left at 7am on Monday morning and finally (thankfully) came home on Friday afternoon. Life is so much nicer with him at home! Bear, Fox and I were left to fend for ourselves and try to keep things running smoothly. To add to the challenge we were all sick with colds and the boys were just that little bit more difficult to keep happy. I was forced to try some new things and step out of my comfort zone. I was also able to lean on the help of lots of friends. Thank you! I spent a lot of the week carrying Fox in the Babybjorn. He was unsettled during the day and didn't sleep very well at night. Could he have noticed that Daddy was away? Maybe he was responding to the extra tension in his mother? I suppose it could have been the snuffly nose. I appreciated spending the extra time with Bear. I think I got to know him better. He is changing so quickly and becoming more capable and independent every time I look. He can be so gentle and careful with his little brother. So diligent and enthusiastic when helping me. These little moments - Bear washing Fox in the bath or Bear helping wash the dishes - they gave me a boost of energy at times when I was exhausted. Tiny little people sure are capable of wonderful things. Bear missed his Daddy. He found Tom's towel, showed it to me and said "Dad" - a word he knows well but uses very rarely. He wanted me to play the games Daddy plays with him over and over again - but I just can't wrestle like Daddy does. We were all relieved when Tom came home!
Another basic Montessori concept that I've finally got around to doing for Bear - Hooks at child height! As usual I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. Bear loves screws and screwdrivers so he was very keen to help me install 3 shiny new hooks on our side table. I hung up his hat, backpack and nappy bag and immediately he was intrigued. He was fascinated as I demonstrated lifting the hoops over the hook very carefully with 2 hands. He watched me take them off then put them back. Then it was his turn and I have to say I was mesmerised for half an hour watching him work it out. He loves being able to get his hat for himself. He runs off to get it when we're going outside. He has even started putting his hat on himself. I had no idea he was able to do that. I had always just done it for him. I am constantly underestimating him! Since hooks seemed to be so much fun I also moved our key hooks down to his height. Same concept but practices different coordination. However definitely not as much fun as being able to do useful things for yourself like get your own hat!
Lately our mornings have been starting like this:
I don't know what the problem was exactly. The tantrums triggered me to give some thought to how we do breakfast. I've made some changes that require Bear to be more independent. We haven't had any tantrums since. This is how we do breakfast now:
Why didn't I do this sooner?!
I can't believe the difference this has made to our mornings. We have acknowledged Bear's ability to do simple things for himself and provided just the right level of challenge. We have gone from an hour of chaos followed by an hour of grumpy hungry toddler to peace. This isn't going to be the solution forever. What next? Making toast? Spreading butter? Making smoothies? I'll keep you posted. "The parents' challenge is to establish a home environment that encourages the development of concentration from the child's infancy and that supports flow experiences for all family members. Such a home reflects the complexity of life." When we're inside we spend our time in the playroom. It's my favourite room in the house. It's beautiful and sunny with big windows, a skylight and a Northerly aspect. Most of Bear's toys are kept here. The piano is here. It's the centre of our house. There are doors leading out to the yard, Bear's bedroom, the bathroom, the laundry and the carport. I've made some changes to make a special place for Fox to join us in this space. It is a challenge balancing the needs of the 2 boys in the same area. Bear needs freedom, independence and lots of movement. Fox needs safety, calm and predictability. On the one hand I want to allow Bear plenty of access to his little brother but on the other I need to protect the little guy from Bear's clumsy and enthusiastic affection. I think the only way to have them share the space at the moment is with constant, diligent supervision. This is how the space is arranged so far: A Floor-bed and Mirror During the day Fox spends a lot of his time on a floor-bed. It is a thin cot-sized mattress tucked away in a corner. Bear brings his toys to work on the black and white rug so it's very close to the action. Fox is still asleep most of the time so he sleeps here covered by a small crocheted blanket. When he is awake he is happy for short periods looking at himself in the mirror or watching and listening to us play on the mat. Most of the time he is happier being held when he is awake. I am trying to teach Bear that this is a quiet, gentle area. He is welcome on the bed and he is allowed to touch Fox gently. He's starting to get the idea. He often comes and lies next to Fox, or brings toys over for him, of pats his belly. A Changing Area I'm using the top of a chest of drawers as a change table. The drawers are stocked with nappies, wipes and all his clothes. All the drawers have child-proof latches to keep Bear from rummaging through them and emptying them out! Bear sometimes carries his little chair over to us and stands on it so he can participate. He likes to pull out a baby wipe and help wipe Fox. Or take a cottonbud, dip it in water and clean Fox. I love it when he does these things. It reminds me how closely he watches the things I do because he imitates them so carefully. An area for feeding There is a comfortable couch next to the play area that faces out the window. Through the window I can usually see the goats grazing and the chickens wandering around. There is a high table next to the couch where I can sit my hot drink out of reach of little hands. On the floor next to the couch is a basket of books for Bear that are rotated weekly. It is perfect for us all to cuddle up together and read a book while I breastfeed Fox or it's close enough to the rug for Bear to chat to me while he works. To come...
I have a few mobiles for Fox but I haven't put a hook in the wall to hang them yet. Hopefully I'll get them up sometime this week because I think he is already developmentally ready for them. I would also love to make a black and white quilt for Fox to lie on for tummy time. I'm not sure when I'll find time to do that but I can dream... We decided to get a dog soon after moving onto our farm. Our cats and chickens were being terrorised by a huge and very bold fox. We realised we were going to need a guard dog for our peace of mind. Izzy was a stray. She was found near Maitland, was taken to a shelter in Newcastle then made her way to the RSPCA vet clinic in Ugoona. My sister had been scouting the shelter for a while to find us a dog and it looked like Izzy might be a perfect match for us. She was big but still a puppy, had a quiet temperament and not much of a prey drive. She had a problem though - she had been diagnosed as "unhousable" due to separation anxiety. She had proved herself to be extremely destructive and an escape artist. When she came to live with us as a foster dog she was taking an antidepressant and a tranqueliser and had a regime of relaxation and meditation exercises to do twice per day. Needless to say we were nervous about how this might turn out! It turned out great! She was a lonely and very energetic puppy who needed a family and lots of space. Her separation anxiety has translated into loyalty and her destructive energies have been redirected with lots of exercise. Izzy's like a big sister for Bear. They have a lot of common interests - sticks, balls, dirt, puddles, steeling clothes pegs... Sometimes Izzy snatches Bear's toys or Bear hits Izzy with his shovel. Other times they play so beautifully together. She's found a special place in our family.
I'm writing this at 4.30am with my precious little Fox bundled up on my lap - wide awake. The perfect time to write his introduction. Praise God Fox was born naturally without induction 3 days before his due date. My labour was speedy and dramatic. Contractions started in the middle of the night and within a few hours were coming every 1-2 minutes. We were met at the hospital by my brilliant midwife just before I started to bleed and Fox blocked off his cord. The midwife called for the doctor to come straight away but amazingly we were able to deliver the little guy safely before he arrived. I've never been more relieved than when I heard him cry for the first time! Fox has been a wonderful newborn. He's very calm and relaxed - he seems to have a very different temperament to Bear (if it's possible to tell this early on - and I suspect it is possible). He's sleeping and feeding really well so far and I am absolutely soaking up his sweet newborn cuddles. It's so nice to have a soft, warm little person who just loves to be held close (Bear's much too busy for cuddles most of the time!) Bear has also been wonderful. I was so nervous about how he would react to this big change. I had heard stories about toddlers ignoring their mothers completely, or having violent tantrums, or regressing developmentally. He hasn't done any of these things. He has just accepted the change. He seems to understand that there are times when I need to tend to Fox and I can't do as he asks. He goes off and does something else or sits with us and talks to me about Fox or reads a book with me. Developmentally he continues to thrive. He's in the middle of his word explosion and continues to communicate more and more effectively. Toilet learning progresses - yesterday he even did a wee on the potty! I'm sure it is our Montessori environment and attitude that has allowed him to cope so well. He can access his work and entertainment without my help. He wants my interest and my company but he doesn't need me to be hands on. It's been just over a week of being a family of four. I can't believe how lucky we are - our boys are wonderful. I'm so excited about all that lies ahead.
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My name is Vicky and I have 3 boys - Bear (10), Fox (8) and Wolf (6). Somehow I stumbled across Montessori and now my goal is to raise and educate my children with a Montessori approach in Dubbo. Archives
April 2024
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