I have revisited toy rotation and I've been brutal. Somehow toys have been walking out of cupboards of their own accord. I don't know how it happens. At the end of every week we seem to have toys everywhere. Most of them are being ignored. There is nothing interesting left to get out of the cupboard. I drive myself crazy constantly tidying up. Actually I know exactly how it happens. I have too many toys on the shelves. I'm not rotating them often enough. Partly because there aren't enough toys left in the cupboard to rotate out! Bear knows where the toys are kept and helps himself to more. Or he asks me to get something for him. I give it to him but don't put an unused toy away. I put a toy on a shelf because the shelf looks bare. I am tempted to think more toys will keep him more engaged. Solution? Less is more!
I have also simplified the way Bear's toys are presented. An example is the way Bear's trains were presented. Bear's train set was all thrown in together in a big basket. Bear wasn't choosing his trains even though they were still clearly his favourite. I think it was to hard for him to find what he needed so he didn't bother. He still loved to play with them but only when I brought out the basket and helped him build a track. I've put the tracks in one basket that's big enough to rummage through without spilling on the floor. I've put aside a few pieces that are frustrating or duplicates. Trains are in another basket. Trees are in another. Cars are in another. So simple. So obvious now that I've done it. It has turned one set of toys into 4 sets of toys. Bear is choosing them everyday again. He plays with them without any help. Sometimes he plays with them all together. Sometimes one basket at a time. They also double as ready made baby baskets for Fox. Bear doesn't spend much time using the things on his shelves. He really doesn't need much on them. Most of our time at home is spent working together - cooking, cleaning or gardening. Then there are books to read, food to eat, baths to have...
Having fewer things around makes the few things seem more special and make it easier for him to choose something interesting and focus on it. It definitely makes packing up less of a chore and something Bear can participate in.
0 Comments
It's been about a month since we took Bear's nappy off.
He is 100% reliable at using the potty at home when he doesn't have any pants on. As soon as we put anything on him he has accidents. He wets undies, shorts, trackies, nappy, whatever it is we've put him in. He doesn't even tell me he's wet. He just carries on playing. Wet pants don't bother him. He is not motivated by independence in this area at the moment. He is motivated by blue berries, raspberries and stickers. Since bringing back the offer of payment for wees on the potty Bear is making progress again. He has decided he is capable of taking his shorts off and putting them on independently (something he has flatly refused to attempt until now - "Naaaaaoooooo!! Mummy do it!!"). Now, of course, he won't let me help him at all. **exasperated sigh**. But progress is progress! Seeing his shorts on backwards instead of his bare bottom is an improvement! At the moment I am offering him a reward for a wee every hour or so. He's doing ok. I have found the practical advice in Montessori from the Start helpful and thorough. However Bear wasn't prepared to cooperate in the process until much later than was suggested. They emphasise that starting in the sensitive period sometime between 12 and 18 months is crucial. At that age we didn't seem to be making any progress at all. Maybe I missed his sensitive period. Maybe Bear's sensitive period came later. Maybe the sensitive period is not as brief or as important as they suggest. I also found Robin Barker's Potty training section in The Mighty Toddler invaluable. It is written by an Australian child health nurse with many years of practical experience. She describes the historical changes in potty training methods and expectations similarly to Montessori from the Start but from an Australian perspective. She goes on to discus the different approaches to toilet training and their advantages and disadvantages. I love her common sense approach and open mindedness. She combines current research with her clearly expansive experience with children and families. It is definitely worth a read if you've been confused by all the conflicting advice that's out there. Once Bear's confident getting his pants on and off I suppose the next step will be leaving the house without a nappy on. *gulp*. No set of potty training instructions I've found seems to be fitting him exactly. And all the parents I've talked to seem to have used very different methods with their children. I am definitely finding that we're stumbling around in the dark in this process. I guess we just continue walking with him one step at a time and try to enjoy his uniqueness along the way. "The child has a type of mind that goes beyond concrete limits. It has the power of imagining things. This power of visualising things that are not present to the eye, reveals a higher type of mind. An object I can see is an easy thing to know, but when I have to make an image for myself (to imagine) it is more difficult. If the mind of man were restricted only to the things he could see, it would be very limited indeed. Man sees without seeing." Now that Bear can talk he can tell stories. By listening to him I can find out what he loves and the things that are filling his head. It is also an exercise for my imagination to see what he sees... "b'u'lding ''ains" (building trains) "''ain on ''i'ge" (train on bridge) "'ed ''ain on ''i'ge" (red train on bridge) "''ian ''ASH int' ditch!!" (train CRASHED into the ditch!!) "c'ane pic' ''ain up. Puts ''ain on ''acks" (Crane picks the train up. Puts the train on the tracks) "''een ''ain on b'i'ge" (green train on the bridge) "making 'ong ''ain. Lots pass''ger 'a''''ges" (making a long train with lots of passenger carriages) "''ain '''ough 'ignal. Woo woo!! ''ain 'coming!!" (train through signal. Woo woo!! A train's coming") "Playing with toys and imagination through fairy tales represent two needs of that special period of life: the first, to place oneself in direct relation with the environment, to master the environment, and by this a great mental development is acquired by the child. The other reveals the strength of the imagination, so much so that he turns it on his toys. If we then give him real things to imagine about, this is a help to him and places him in more accurate relation with his environment too" Bear loves trains and soaks up anything about trains that he's exposed to. He doesn't mind if it is real or fiction - he loves it equally. All of it becomes the substance of his stories and imaginative play. "Everyone realises that the child likes to imagine, but he is given tales and toys as the only help. If the child can realise a fairy and visualise fairyland, it is not difficult for him to visualise America etc. ... imagination is endeavouring to find the truth of things, a fact which is often forgotten. If in the child's environment the word "America" or "World" had never been mentioned by anyone, then it might be difficult for him to show interest in it, but since he hears the word it enters his mind and he clothes it with imagination." Since I've noticed Bear's particular passion for trains I have tried to replace the good with better... Thomas the tank engine is ubiquitous. The original Rev Awdry stories are very much focused on the real work of the trains and they are beautifully illustrated. However Bear doesn't need the trains to talk and have faces to find them fascinating. He still likes to look at these and that's fine - I love watching the old DVDs as well. But I have tried to supplement his library with things that are real. Two favourite books base on reality: Freight train has great vocabulary (albeit American vocabulary) and nice realistic pictures. The Rain Train has a lovely poem and beautiful pictures. It's my favourite bedtime book at the moment too. Our most watched videos on youtube: I don't know who you are Mike Armstrong but thank you!
"The mind is not the passive entity one imagines, the mind of man is a flame, an all-devouring flame, it is never still, but always active" It inspires me to keep hunting for more and more fuel to feed his little flame.
I haven't mentioned toilet learning for a while because we hit two major obstacles:
But apparently Bear was ready to use the potty! I think Tom was getting more impatient with nappies than I was. He was definitely more optimistic. He put a potty in the playroom and a potty in the living room. He took Bear's nappy off and gave him some very straight forward motivation - "If you do a wee or a poo on the potty I will give you an ice-cream". That was all it took. No tantrums. No accidents. Bear has been weeing on the potty for 2 weeks now. Without any prompting he will leave anything he's playing with, do a wee on the potty, then go back to his things without a fuss. Occasionally he will ask for a sticker or some blueberries which we offered at the beginning as rewards. Usually he just gets on with things. We've just started letting him sleep with no nappy and a potty beside his bed. So far so good. He is just definitely ready now - 6 months ago he definitely wasn't. Our previous arrangement was too complicated so we've simplified things:
At the moment we have not tackled pulling undies on and off, wiping bottom, washing hands, using a real toilet... I am happy to let him consolidate one skill at a time. I wasn't even ready to teach him this skill - thank goodness he didn't need me to teach him at all! I really find it hard to keep up with these children! Did I mention Fox is rolling all over the floor now too? Yikes! It's a wild ride!
"It is really marvellous that man's movements are not limited and fixed, but that he can control them... So we might say that his characteristic is universal versatility, but there is one condition: he must construct them himself. he must work and create by will, and repeat the exercises for co-ordination sub-consciously as to their purpose, but voluntarily as to his initiative. So he can conquer all." Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. p207 Bear, Fox and I love being out in the yard together. We spend so much of our time outside. I'm usually doing laundry or gardening while Bear is coming up with wild ways to push his little body to its physical limits. Fox does his tummy time, watches and chats with us. I have great big dreams for a yard that is magical and inspiring for Bear and Fox. I have so many ideas in my head of the components I want our yard to include. My ideas are constantly expanding and becoming more elaborate. I see something amazing and want to incorporate it. We have so much space we really could have a bit of everything. Alas our yard is so far from the dream! Thankfully Bear doesn't seem to mind. He has managed to find all sorts of adventure in our mess of a yard... ... he races over the fencing as fast and as noisily as he can... ... he scales the mountain of dirt to reach the very summit... ... he tears along the bike track at top speed... ... he climbs to dizzying heights to spy on his cats up on the roof... ... he moves load after load of picked flowers to make our gardens beautiful.... ... and he's working on his tennis strokes. Fox can't wait to be his little side-kick! I hope that when he's out there too there'll be even more adventure to discover.
We've just been to Cockington Green! A family birthday party took us to Canberra and we had a spare Saturday morning. I wanted to take Bear to Cockington Green. I remembered visiting as a child after reading the Borrowers with my dad. I remember it being magical. My expectations were so high... and I was not disappointed! There are tiny houses with tiny front yards. There are tiny trees and tiny gardens. There are tiny public transport systems... ... and tiny council services... ... and tiny road works! Bear was enchanted. So was I! It was a perfect place to spend the morning exploring and picnicking. I wish I could visit every day but we only had one lovely morning to soak it all up. I can't recommend this special garden highly enough! I hope you've all been to Cockington Green!
"Not feeling very Montessori? Flower arranging will fix that! Spring has sprung in our garden and we have an abundance of flowers that need picking. I thought it was about time we tried some flower arranging! Bear watched a quick demonstration with interest and was keen to get into it! He was clumsy to begin with. He crumpled the petals and bent the stems of his first batch of flowers. Next time he handled the flowers more carefully. He worked out that when he held them by the stems the petals weren't damaged. Bear has gone back to this activity again and again. It gives us another way to enjoy our garden and this amazing time of year. It has a powerful control of error - seeing the delicate petals ruined by anything but the most respectful treatment taught him to be careful. I was amazed how engaged my rough little boy was by this activity! He was so focused on making his hands work precisely. I didn't realise that flower arranging was such a great fine motor activity.
I will definitely be including this activity on Bear's shelves more often. I can't wait to try out some of these beautiful flower arranging ideas as well! I haven't blogged for a while... I've had no inspiration. I've been feeling very boring, unmotivated and frankly not very "Montessori"... Ah well... Back on the horse.
I'm writing this after listening to the boys chat to each other on the baby monitor for an hour after I put them to bed. There's a squeel here, a giggle there, A bit of a whinge every now and then. Now silence. I half enjoy their little conversations. I half feel on edge wondering if they'll actually fall asleep in there! Sleep has never been an area of child rearing where we've followed Montessori principles. Both babies started out swaddled in a bassinet and breastfed to sleep. We've had various issues with sleep as the babies outgrew one arrangement and had to adjust to something new. At each stage we've walked the path of least resistance with the motto in mind "it's not a problem unless its a problem" when it comes to nursing to sleep, swaddles, dummies, cots etc. Fox was born a good sleeper. Bear has learned to sleep well over time. Since Fox out grew the bassinet he has been a little gypsy baby - sleeping in a different bed each night. I assembled his cot in Bear's room hoping to have them in together but it just wasn't working. They'd wake each other up and everybody in the house had broken sleep. Unfortunately we haven't had anywhere else to put him! He's been sleeping in a port-a-cot in the guest bedroom but he's displaced very frequently by visitors. This is definitely not advocated by the Montessori books I've read! Or any baby books for that matter. Thankfully Fox is such an easy going little guy - he's let us get away with this instability at the price of an extra feed overnight But now it's finally a success! The boys are sleeping in the same room. Not only sleeping but falling asleep at the same time in the same room with no help from mum or dad. It's a miracle! But not very Montessori - Fox sleeps in a cot. I am still constantly debating with myself about the floor bed concept. I fluctuate between blatant scepticism and a desperate longing to make it work out for us. Should I move Fox onto a floor bed? Bear first started to have issues with the cot at around 7 months. He was able to pull himself up to stand but couldn't get down again. He would cry when we left the room, pull himself up and then he'd get stuck. There was no way he'd be falling asleep standing against the cot rails! We'd be in and out to lie him back down over and over again until he finally gave up and fell asleep. But that stage passed and we kept him in the cot until he was 18 months old. Fox is not mobile yet but he will be soon. Should I move him before he gets going? Should I wait until this current arrangement stops working? Gosh I don't know. Isn't it ridiculous how these tiny parenting decisions consume so much mental energy... I am going to defer this decision for now and enjoy the silence of two sleeping boys. "... a study of the psychology of the child in the first years of life is so marvellous, so full of miracles, that all who understand it cannot help but feel a great emotion... is not nature full of magic? Full of miracles?" Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. p38. Bear is in the thick of his sensitive period for order. It is a joy to watch him play in a new way. He radiates peace and calm as he lines things up neatly or puts something in it’s proper place. These amazing moments happen when the environment is just right. "If the child meets with obstacles, his creative work becomes less perfect... We have realised that the child is endowed with great creative powers, that these great powers are delicate in their nature and can be thwarted if obstacles are placed in their path." (p39). Everything needs to be in its place. He needs to have an uncluttered space. He needs time and peace and quiet to work. Then - just as Montessori described - "whatever is in his environment comes to be part of his mind"(p35). I feel a profound pride and connection with him as I watch him play like this. It is a joy to watch him incorporate into himself something that speaks so strongly to me. I love order and symmetry and patterns. I feel real peace and tranquility when things are where they should be. On the other hand I feel such uneasiness when there is chaos. Chaos makes me long with such homesickness for heaven. I love the image of heaven in Revelation 4. God is sitting on his throne with a sea of glass, clear as crystal, spreading before him. Even the power and unpredictability of the ocean - an ancient symbol of chaos - is still before this God. This God forms little toddlers - wild and chaotic as they can be - in his own image. He has them sit still, mesmerised, to organise screwdrivers - for the joy of it. It’s like watching a seed germinate or a flower open. The complexity and beauty nature at work takes my breath away. “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelation 4:11
Praise God for his amazing Creation. And thank you Maria Montessori for observing it and explaining it to me. I made a nail block for Bear which he still loves to use. Putting the nails in the holes is still a fun activity for him at 2 years old. But it doesn't hold his attention the way that it used to. So I've taken it to the next level and given him a hammer! I found the little hammer in a regular hardware shop. It's not a toy or specifically a children's hammer but only weighs 250g so Bear can use it comfortably. There are some terrific tools that were designed for the elderly but are perfect for toddlers. Bear's little shovel (you can see him using it in the sandpit here) is another example. The block is sitting on 3 cork boards from Ikea. They stop the nails from going into the floor and are the perfect texture for Bear to hammer through. He needs to use a quite a bit of force to drive the nails in so he has had to work on his swing and his aim. The next step will be learning to use the claw to pull the nails back out. He still needs my help for that part but is watching closely.
|
Categories
All
My name is Vicky and I have 3 boys - Bear (10), Fox (8) and Wolf (6). Somehow I stumbled across Montessori and now my goal is to raise and educate my children with a Montessori approach in Dubbo. Archives
April 2024
|