"Not feeling very Montessori? Flower arranging will fix that! Spring has sprung in our garden and we have an abundance of flowers that need picking. I thought it was about time we tried some flower arranging! Bear watched a quick demonstration with interest and was keen to get into it! He was clumsy to begin with. He crumpled the petals and bent the stems of his first batch of flowers. Next time he handled the flowers more carefully. He worked out that when he held them by the stems the petals weren't damaged. Bear has gone back to this activity again and again. It gives us another way to enjoy our garden and this amazing time of year. It has a powerful control of error - seeing the delicate petals ruined by anything but the most respectful treatment taught him to be careful. I was amazed how engaged my rough little boy was by this activity! He was so focused on making his hands work precisely. I didn't realise that flower arranging was such a great fine motor activity.
I will definitely be including this activity on Bear's shelves more often. I can't wait to try out some of these beautiful flower arranging ideas as well!
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I haven't blogged for a while... I've had no inspiration. I've been feeling very boring, unmotivated and frankly not very "Montessori"... Ah well... Back on the horse.
I'm writing this after listening to the boys chat to each other on the baby monitor for an hour after I put them to bed. There's a squeel here, a giggle there, A bit of a whinge every now and then. Now silence. I half enjoy their little conversations. I half feel on edge wondering if they'll actually fall asleep in there! Sleep has never been an area of child rearing where we've followed Montessori principles. Both babies started out swaddled in a bassinet and breastfed to sleep. We've had various issues with sleep as the babies outgrew one arrangement and had to adjust to something new. At each stage we've walked the path of least resistance with the motto in mind "it's not a problem unless its a problem" when it comes to nursing to sleep, swaddles, dummies, cots etc. Fox was born a good sleeper. Bear has learned to sleep well over time. Since Fox out grew the bassinet he has been a little gypsy baby - sleeping in a different bed each night. I assembled his cot in Bear's room hoping to have them in together but it just wasn't working. They'd wake each other up and everybody in the house had broken sleep. Unfortunately we haven't had anywhere else to put him! He's been sleeping in a port-a-cot in the guest bedroom but he's displaced very frequently by visitors. This is definitely not advocated by the Montessori books I've read! Or any baby books for that matter. Thankfully Fox is such an easy going little guy - he's let us get away with this instability at the price of an extra feed overnight But now it's finally a success! The boys are sleeping in the same room. Not only sleeping but falling asleep at the same time in the same room with no help from mum or dad. It's a miracle! But not very Montessori - Fox sleeps in a cot. I am still constantly debating with myself about the floor bed concept. I fluctuate between blatant scepticism and a desperate longing to make it work out for us. Should I move Fox onto a floor bed? Bear first started to have issues with the cot at around 7 months. He was able to pull himself up to stand but couldn't get down again. He would cry when we left the room, pull himself up and then he'd get stuck. There was no way he'd be falling asleep standing against the cot rails! We'd be in and out to lie him back down over and over again until he finally gave up and fell asleep. But that stage passed and we kept him in the cot until he was 18 months old. Fox is not mobile yet but he will be soon. Should I move him before he gets going? Should I wait until this current arrangement stops working? Gosh I don't know. Isn't it ridiculous how these tiny parenting decisions consume so much mental energy... I am going to defer this decision for now and enjoy the silence of two sleeping boys. I started writing this post a couple of weeks ago and it is amazing what has changed in that time. We have been watching Bear's language development very closely over the last 8 months because he was not reaching milestones on time. The first time it was flagged for me was at his 18 month check up with the child health nurse. I could see her ears prick up and her eyes slightly widen when I reported that Bear really wasn't using any words. She asked "but he'd be saying 'mum' and 'dad'?" No he wasn't. "He's probably saying 'ball' or 'dog' or 'car'?" No he'd never named things like that. "What about 'bye bye' or 'hello' or 'night night'?". He said "hi" sometimes - but that was about it. At that point we decided to watch and wait. There were no other concerns about his development. 2 months ago at his 2 year old check up it was quite obvious that he was not keeping up with other 2 year olds. He was only using a handful of words spontaneously. We could ask him to say other words and he would have a go but he didn't seem to take them in. He had never made a word of 2 syllables. He had never put two words together. When we thought about it carefully and observed him closely we could see that every warning sign for expressive language delay was there. When to seek referral: We were not concerned about his hearing or receptive language. The nurse agreed that he was obviously hearing and understanding her as well. We were not concerned about his social development or behaviour. We were reassured but advised that putting Bear on the waiting list to see a speech pathologist within the next 12 months would be a good idea. That's what we did. Still this "isolated expressive language delay" worried me. I had to make a conscious effort not to panic. I had to actively suppress the ridiculous and unfair questions that were exploding in my head ("Have I done something wrong?", "Should I have picked this up sooner?", "How is this going to affect him in the future?"). It is fascinating and reassuring to read Montessori's model for language development. She describes the process in The Absorbent Mind like taking a photo - all the complexity of the image is captured effortlessly in a moment. Mysteriously in the dark. It is developed in the dark. Then it is finally revealed in all its complexity. "The mother does not teach language to her little one. Language develops naturally as a spontaneous creation." I also read a post at how we montessori that described a similar thought process and anxieties. The tension of waiting and watching and trusting. I felt myself poised at the start of a 100m sprint. My whole being was ready to burst off the blocks with all my effort to help him. But I had to wait for the gun. I had to trust him and give him space.
Over the last few weeks that tension has melted away. Gradually at first. Little by little he started to talk! A new word would just pop out of him and take me by surprise. "'izard" (lizard) or "'uck" (truck) or "mooch" (mulch)". Then two words started popping out at a time! "'een 'uck" (green truck) and "'eam 'ain" (steam train). Then three!! "Daddy 'op 'ee" (Daddy chop tree). I think we will be able to take him off the waiting list for the speech pathologist. What an exciting time and what a relief! I love knowing what's going on in his head now that he can tell me. It must be so difficult to have a child who isn't able to develop this skill. My anxious wait has certainly helped me see how wonderful this ability is. "... a study of the psychology of the child in the first years of life is so marvellous, so full of miracles, that all who understand it cannot help but feel a great emotion... is not nature full of magic? Full of miracles?" Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. p38. Bear is in the thick of his sensitive period for order. It is a joy to watch him play in a new way. He radiates peace and calm as he lines things up neatly or puts something in it’s proper place. These amazing moments happen when the environment is just right. "If the child meets with obstacles, his creative work becomes less perfect... We have realised that the child is endowed with great creative powers, that these great powers are delicate in their nature and can be thwarted if obstacles are placed in their path." (p39). Everything needs to be in its place. He needs to have an uncluttered space. He needs time and peace and quiet to work. Then - just as Montessori described - "whatever is in his environment comes to be part of his mind"(p35). I feel a profound pride and connection with him as I watch him play like this. It is a joy to watch him incorporate into himself something that speaks so strongly to me. I love order and symmetry and patterns. I feel real peace and tranquility when things are where they should be. On the other hand I feel such uneasiness when there is chaos. Chaos makes me long with such homesickness for heaven. I love the image of heaven in Revelation 4. God is sitting on his throne with a sea of glass, clear as crystal, spreading before him. Even the power and unpredictability of the ocean - an ancient symbol of chaos - is still before this God. This God forms little toddlers - wild and chaotic as they can be - in his own image. He has them sit still, mesmerised, to organise screwdrivers - for the joy of it. It’s like watching a seed germinate or a flower open. The complexity and beauty nature at work takes my breath away. “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelation 4:11
Praise God for his amazing Creation. And thank you Maria Montessori for observing it and explaining it to me. I made a nail block for Bear which he still loves to use. Putting the nails in the holes is still a fun activity for him at 2 years old. But it doesn't hold his attention the way that it used to. So I've taken it to the next level and given him a hammer! I found the little hammer in a regular hardware shop. It's not a toy or specifically a children's hammer but only weighs 250g so Bear can use it comfortably. There are some terrific tools that were designed for the elderly but are perfect for toddlers. Bear's little shovel (you can see him using it in the sandpit here) is another example. The block is sitting on 3 cork boards from Ikea. They stop the nails from going into the floor and are the perfect texture for Bear to hammer through. He needs to use a quite a bit of force to drive the nails in so he has had to work on his swing and his aim. The next step will be learning to use the claw to pull the nails back out. He still needs my help for that part but is watching closely.
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My name is Vicky and I have 3 boys - Bear (10), Fox (8) and Wolf (6). Somehow I stumbled across Montessori and now my goal is to raise and educate my children with a Montessori approach in Dubbo. Archives
April 2024
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