I love routine. Routines really work for me. I am able to be more efficient, more productive and more relaxed when I have a comfortable routine. Routines have worked for my children as well as long as a few conditions are met: Some things need to be flexible. Some things need plenty of time. Sometimes there needs to be options. I have learned not to force the boys into my routine. I've learned to adapt to theirs. We've settled into a pattern that repeats itself day after day. It changes often. This is what our days have been like this summer with Bear at 2.5 years and Fox at 10 months. 5.45 am yoga or walk the dog 6.30 am get breakfast ready 6.40 am the boys wake up and we all have breakfast together (Around this time Ranger gets up and helps with the boys while he get's ready for work. We spend most of this time outside.) 8.00 am Fox goes down for a sleep (One-on-one time with Bear. Usually we spend half the time together and half the time working on our own things. This is the best time to introduce a new Montessori game or material to Bear) 9.30 am Bear and I have lunch* * I know it's early! Bear is most hungry and most open minded about food at the beginning of the day. So we eat our main meal together after working up an appetite in the garden! (Things vary from day to day in this time. We usually go out for a while to do grocery shopping, swimming lessons, bible study or spend time with friends. If we're at home the boys work on something from their shelves.) 12.30 am the boys have lunch then go to bed (I'm usually pretty desperate to recharge by this time! I'm usually starving, thirsty, busting to go to the toilet, fatigued and overstimulated. I have to spend 30 minutes carefully getting myself back in order. For me the most important ingredients to a successful break are a big healthy lunch, a coffee and an episode of Gardening Australia. Sometimes a power-nap! Then I can get on with the things that can't be done with little helpers around.) 2.30 pm** the boys get up and have afternoon tea ** Bear's groclock turns yellow at 2.30pm. He is not allowed out of his room before then. They both usually sleep until 3-3.30pm (Fox often wakes up before Bear which gives me some precious one-on-one time with him. This is the best time to introduce a new Montessori game or material to Fox. This is our most difficult time of the day. This is the time when they demand most of my energy. Things that work include: setting up an art activity for Bear to do while I play with Fox, putting them both in the bath, a trip to the library, reading books or watching a David Attenborough documentary together.) 5.00 pm I cook dinner (Ranger is usually home to play with the boys and it's cool enough to go back outside.) 6.00 pm we all eat dinner as a family then play outside 6.30 pm time to wind down before bed. We read together finishing with the bible. 7.00 pm the boys go to bed Once the boys are in bed I load the washing machine, put away clean laundry, clean the kitchen, do a very quick general tidy-up, have a shower and collapse on the couch to relax with Ranger. Phew. Made it to the end of another day!
0 Comments
We're back! Hello!! It's been a long time since I've posted. Holidays have come to an end. We're settling into a new routine and I'd love to share some things we've been doing at home. We've been working in the garden! Working in the garden with Bear is something I find easy and fun! It is something that comes naturally to me. It takes no effort to prepare and it engages Bear straight away. It is the cure for the anxiety I feel about all the Montessori things I am not doing! Seeing Bear peacefully at work watering strawberries or dead-heading daisies reassures me that we're doing ok. The garden is a place where we can both do meaningful work side by side. We can take our time. We can choose our work. It is a place where Bear can learn unconsciously and I can teach spontaneously. We talk about roots and leaves. We learn the names of plants. We watch things grow and ripen. We use all sorts of tools - rakes, secateurs, shears, shovels, watering cans, wheel barrows... We make compost. We apply mulch. We collect worm tea. We prune. It is a place where Bear can be free and independent. I get the boys outside as soon as they've finished breakfast because it is still so hot during the day. It is not long before the sun forces us to retreat indoors. The earlier we get out the longer we get to play. Fox joins us for a while before he goes down for a sleep. Unlike Bear and myself he does not feel at home in the garden. Although he can crawl very well he doesn't like me to be out of his reach. He likes me to sit with him in the sandpit. Or he stands next to me while I'm weeding with a hand on my shoulder. I'm sure it won't be long before he too is comfortable and confident. I've said it before and I'll say it again - our garden is a mess!! It is a work in progress. It is a long way from what I dream of it being. But I think that's part of the reason why we love it so much. There is so much for us all to do. We get to watch it taking shape. We all get to learn and explore along the way.
This reading corner has been a long time coming. I had the idea of turning this unused doorway into a book shelf before Fox was born. Little by little I've been chipping away at this project. Now it is finally finished (well mostly finished...). At least it is ready to use! I have experimented with various ways to store and display books that haven't worked out. I tried a basket on the floor. A basket on the coffee table. A basket on Bear's shelves. A regular book shelf with spines facing out. A regular bookshelf with books standing up. Books in a box. We were having problems with each of these. My biggest problem was mess - the books wouldn't stay where they were supposed to be! So I brainstormed goals for book storage/display: - beautiful to look at - easy for Bear to choose a book - easy for Bear to take out one book at a time without disturbing the other books - easy for Bear to put books away by himself - flexible in terms of the number of books it can accomodate - separate from toys - in an area that is peaceful and comfortable - a special area that acknowledges how special and precious books are I think this ticks all the boxes. The 3 lower book shelves are only 10cm deep so books stand up easily on their own but they will be able to accomodate several layers of books in future. There's a 3cm lip that stops the books slipping off. The shelves are removable but very sturdy. They have a catch that will stop Fox pulling them off when he inevitably starts to pull up on them. We don't have room for child sized furniture in this area. We're a bit tight on space as it is. Bear gets himself onto the couch easily and we can both read together comfortably. We used to have a footstool for Bear to climb up. We'll bring it back out when Fox is ready for it. Rotating the books keeps bringing Bear back to the couch. He's asking to read books that were being ignored before. I love when he asks me to read with him. It such a great invitation for a cuddle and a chat! Fox is appreciating the low shelf too - it might just be the thing that inspires him to crawl!
I have revisited toy rotation and I've been brutal. Somehow toys have been walking out of cupboards of their own accord. I don't know how it happens. At the end of every week we seem to have toys everywhere. Most of them are being ignored. There is nothing interesting left to get out of the cupboard. I drive myself crazy constantly tidying up. Actually I know exactly how it happens. I have too many toys on the shelves. I'm not rotating them often enough. Partly because there aren't enough toys left in the cupboard to rotate out! Bear knows where the toys are kept and helps himself to more. Or he asks me to get something for him. I give it to him but don't put an unused toy away. I put a toy on a shelf because the shelf looks bare. I am tempted to think more toys will keep him more engaged. Solution? Less is more!
I have also simplified the way Bear's toys are presented. An example is the way Bear's trains were presented. Bear's train set was all thrown in together in a big basket. Bear wasn't choosing his trains even though they were still clearly his favourite. I think it was to hard for him to find what he needed so he didn't bother. He still loved to play with them but only when I brought out the basket and helped him build a track. I've put the tracks in one basket that's big enough to rummage through without spilling on the floor. I've put aside a few pieces that are frustrating or duplicates. Trains are in another basket. Trees are in another. Cars are in another. So simple. So obvious now that I've done it. It has turned one set of toys into 4 sets of toys. Bear is choosing them everyday again. He plays with them without any help. Sometimes he plays with them all together. Sometimes one basket at a time. They also double as ready made baby baskets for Fox. Bear doesn't spend much time using the things on his shelves. He really doesn't need much on them. Most of our time at home is spent working together - cooking, cleaning or gardening. Then there are books to read, food to eat, baths to have...
Having fewer things around makes the few things seem more special and make it easier for him to choose something interesting and focus on it. It definitely makes packing up less of a chore and something Bear can participate in. It's been about a month since we took Bear's nappy off.
He is 100% reliable at using the potty at home when he doesn't have any pants on. As soon as we put anything on him he has accidents. He wets undies, shorts, trackies, nappy, whatever it is we've put him in. He doesn't even tell me he's wet. He just carries on playing. Wet pants don't bother him. He is not motivated by independence in this area at the moment. He is motivated by blue berries, raspberries and stickers. Since bringing back the offer of payment for wees on the potty Bear is making progress again. He has decided he is capable of taking his shorts off and putting them on independently (something he has flatly refused to attempt until now - "Naaaaaoooooo!! Mummy do it!!"). Now, of course, he won't let me help him at all. **exasperated sigh**. But progress is progress! Seeing his shorts on backwards instead of his bare bottom is an improvement! At the moment I am offering him a reward for a wee every hour or so. He's doing ok. I have found the practical advice in Montessori from the Start helpful and thorough. However Bear wasn't prepared to cooperate in the process until much later than was suggested. They emphasise that starting in the sensitive period sometime between 12 and 18 months is crucial. At that age we didn't seem to be making any progress at all. Maybe I missed his sensitive period. Maybe Bear's sensitive period came later. Maybe the sensitive period is not as brief or as important as they suggest. I also found Robin Barker's Potty training section in The Mighty Toddler invaluable. It is written by an Australian child health nurse with many years of practical experience. She describes the historical changes in potty training methods and expectations similarly to Montessori from the Start but from an Australian perspective. She goes on to discus the different approaches to toilet training and their advantages and disadvantages. I love her common sense approach and open mindedness. She combines current research with her clearly expansive experience with children and families. It is definitely worth a read if you've been confused by all the conflicting advice that's out there. Once Bear's confident getting his pants on and off I suppose the next step will be leaving the house without a nappy on. *gulp*. No set of potty training instructions I've found seems to be fitting him exactly. And all the parents I've talked to seem to have used very different methods with their children. I am definitely finding that we're stumbling around in the dark in this process. I guess we just continue walking with him one step at a time and try to enjoy his uniqueness along the way. "The child has a type of mind that goes beyond concrete limits. It has the power of imagining things. This power of visualising things that are not present to the eye, reveals a higher type of mind. An object I can see is an easy thing to know, but when I have to make an image for myself (to imagine) it is more difficult. If the mind of man were restricted only to the things he could see, it would be very limited indeed. Man sees without seeing." Now that Bear can talk he can tell stories. By listening to him I can find out what he loves and the things that are filling his head. It is also an exercise for my imagination to see what he sees... "b'u'lding ''ains" (building trains) "''ain on ''i'ge" (train on bridge) "'ed ''ain on ''i'ge" (red train on bridge) "''ian ''ASH int' ditch!!" (train CRASHED into the ditch!!) "c'ane pic' ''ain up. Puts ''ain on ''acks" (Crane picks the train up. Puts the train on the tracks) "''een ''ain on b'i'ge" (green train on the bridge) "making 'ong ''ain. Lots pass''ger 'a''''ges" (making a long train with lots of passenger carriages) "''ain '''ough 'ignal. Woo woo!! ''ain 'coming!!" (train through signal. Woo woo!! A train's coming") "Playing with toys and imagination through fairy tales represent two needs of that special period of life: the first, to place oneself in direct relation with the environment, to master the environment, and by this a great mental development is acquired by the child. The other reveals the strength of the imagination, so much so that he turns it on his toys. If we then give him real things to imagine about, this is a help to him and places him in more accurate relation with his environment too" Bear loves trains and soaks up anything about trains that he's exposed to. He doesn't mind if it is real or fiction - he loves it equally. All of it becomes the substance of his stories and imaginative play. "Everyone realises that the child likes to imagine, but he is given tales and toys as the only help. If the child can realise a fairy and visualise fairyland, it is not difficult for him to visualise America etc. ... imagination is endeavouring to find the truth of things, a fact which is often forgotten. If in the child's environment the word "America" or "World" had never been mentioned by anyone, then it might be difficult for him to show interest in it, but since he hears the word it enters his mind and he clothes it with imagination." Since I've noticed Bear's particular passion for trains I have tried to replace the good with better... Thomas the tank engine is ubiquitous. The original Rev Awdry stories are very much focused on the real work of the trains and they are beautifully illustrated. However Bear doesn't need the trains to talk and have faces to find them fascinating. He still likes to look at these and that's fine - I love watching the old DVDs as well. But I have tried to supplement his library with things that are real. Two favourite books base on reality: Freight train has great vocabulary (albeit American vocabulary) and nice realistic pictures. The Rain Train has a lovely poem and beautiful pictures. It's my favourite bedtime book at the moment too. Our most watched videos on youtube: I don't know who you are Mike Armstrong but thank you!
"The mind is not the passive entity one imagines, the mind of man is a flame, an all-devouring flame, it is never still, but always active" It inspires me to keep hunting for more and more fuel to feed his little flame.
Working in the kitchen with Bear used to be difficult.' We didn't have the equipment Bear needed and the kitchen wasn't very Bear friendly. Things have changed recently. I have spent some time rearranging things to suit him better. Tom and I have also made a big effort to include him in our work in the kitchen. At 2 years old there a lots of things he can do very effectively. He can be patient and is good at following directions. He is also starting to work toward specific goals. For example now he feeds the cats; he used to scoop biscuits. This is Bear's area in the pantry. He uses the step stool to reach the benches and is able to get it out and move it around himself. The lowest shelf in the pantry is for his things - some toddler friendly kitchen tools and his cleaning supplies. The spray bottle has a small amount of water in it and although it is adult size he is able to use it comfortably. Spraying and wiping the benches is one of his favourite activities in the kitchen. We still have a baby gate in place so Bear only has access to the kitchen in the company of Tom or myself. There is very little that we do in the kitchen now that Bear is not welcome to join. It has been a real joy for us all. Tom and I appreciate Bear's enthusiasm when doing chores that are mundane for us. We don't mind if they take twice as long because it's a pleasure working with Bear; thoroughly engaged, brimming with pride, and becoming more effective every day Making purees for Fox is an almost daily ritual that Bear volunteers for. He is able to chop, assemble the blender, load the blender, press the button (that's the best part!), and fill the freezer trays. (I've been using this baby food recipe book - it makes moosh much more inspiring) Since I showed Bear how to make his own toast I am absolutely not allowed to make it for him! I didn't think he'd have the patience to wait for the toast to pop - but he can wait very well. I didn't think he'd have the restraint to leave the setting on "1" - but he does. I thought he'd touch the hot parts - but he doesn't. Having this independence is obviously very special for him. He is so motivated by it that he is prepared to follow such precise instructions and suppress those temptations that usually win him over. I thought my expertly spread toast tasted better - it definitely doesn't! The juice he squeezes for himself tastes pretty good as well! There are things he gets "stuck" on. Like the tray of cutlery. He's never ready to close the drawer after putting away the clean cutlery. He wants to sit with the tray and work for longer. He makes patterns. Or sets the table. Or pretends to cut and eat food. Spraying and wiping the bench is another one that holds onto him. I leave him to it. Fox is always close by to chat and sing with us as we're working. I have a basket of kitchen items that I can pass to him: a spatula, a wooden spoon, a spice tin, a bamboo napkin ring... So Fox has started working in the kitchen too.
I haven't mentioned toilet learning for a while because we hit two major obstacles:
But apparently Bear was ready to use the potty! I think Tom was getting more impatient with nappies than I was. He was definitely more optimistic. He put a potty in the playroom and a potty in the living room. He took Bear's nappy off and gave him some very straight forward motivation - "If you do a wee or a poo on the potty I will give you an ice-cream". That was all it took. No tantrums. No accidents. Bear has been weeing on the potty for 2 weeks now. Without any prompting he will leave anything he's playing with, do a wee on the potty, then go back to his things without a fuss. Occasionally he will ask for a sticker or some blueberries which we offered at the beginning as rewards. Usually he just gets on with things. We've just started letting him sleep with no nappy and a potty beside his bed. So far so good. He is just definitely ready now - 6 months ago he definitely wasn't. Our previous arrangement was too complicated so we've simplified things:
At the moment we have not tackled pulling undies on and off, wiping bottom, washing hands, using a real toilet... I am happy to let him consolidate one skill at a time. I wasn't even ready to teach him this skill - thank goodness he didn't need me to teach him at all! I really find it hard to keep up with these children! Did I mention Fox is rolling all over the floor now too? Yikes! It's a wild ride!
"It is really marvellous that man's movements are not limited and fixed, but that he can control them... So we might say that his characteristic is universal versatility, but there is one condition: he must construct them himself. he must work and create by will, and repeat the exercises for co-ordination sub-consciously as to their purpose, but voluntarily as to his initiative. So he can conquer all." Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. p207 Bear, Fox and I love being out in the yard together. We spend so much of our time outside. I'm usually doing laundry or gardening while Bear is coming up with wild ways to push his little body to its physical limits. Fox does his tummy time, watches and chats with us. I have great big dreams for a yard that is magical and inspiring for Bear and Fox. I have so many ideas in my head of the components I want our yard to include. My ideas are constantly expanding and becoming more elaborate. I see something amazing and want to incorporate it. We have so much space we really could have a bit of everything. Alas our yard is so far from the dream! Thankfully Bear doesn't seem to mind. He has managed to find all sorts of adventure in our mess of a yard... ... he races over the fencing as fast and as noisily as he can... ... he scales the mountain of dirt to reach the very summit... ... he tears along the bike track at top speed... ... he climbs to dizzying heights to spy on his cats up on the roof... ... he moves load after load of picked flowers to make our gardens beautiful.... ... and he's working on his tennis strokes. Fox can't wait to be his little side-kick! I hope that when he's out there too there'll be even more adventure to discover.
We've just been to Cockington Green! A family birthday party took us to Canberra and we had a spare Saturday morning. I wanted to take Bear to Cockington Green. I remembered visiting as a child after reading the Borrowers with my dad. I remember it being magical. My expectations were so high... and I was not disappointed! There are tiny houses with tiny front yards. There are tiny trees and tiny gardens. There are tiny public transport systems... ... and tiny council services... ... and tiny road works! Bear was enchanted. So was I! It was a perfect place to spend the morning exploring and picnicking. I wish I could visit every day but we only had one lovely morning to soak it all up. I can't recommend this special garden highly enough! I hope you've all been to Cockington Green!
|
Categories
All
My name is Vicky and I have 3 boys - Bear (10), Fox (8) and Wolf (6). Somehow I stumbled across Montessori and now my goal is to raise and educate my children with a Montessori approach in Dubbo. Archives
April 2024
|